I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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