I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
