Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
