Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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