I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
