so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
