I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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