he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
