He felt like a one man threesome
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
cat food counts as protein by the way
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize