It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize