I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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