sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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