you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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