Porn is love you can see.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
