the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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