So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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