is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that's an acceptable place to lick
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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