Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
