Whod you bang
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
