Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What happened to fro yo and sex?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
