My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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