Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
