Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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