my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
