I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
