just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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