Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
