Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize