i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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