: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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