i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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