Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
