Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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