I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
