I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
