Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
