Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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