What did we do last night that was yellow?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
