Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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