the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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