I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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