we're blogging at a bar
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
