K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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