Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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