Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
