I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
