why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
