If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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