3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
