they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
