I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He shit in the fireplace
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
