my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
