I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
