Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
