do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
