You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
