Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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