why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize