Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
