Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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