you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
