You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
