No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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