2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
