Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
