Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
