I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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