It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
