Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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