The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize